Today has been the hardest day. I don't exactly know where to start and I definitely don't know where it will end. Nutshell version, I ended up in the Cardon Children's Medical Emergency room with Jacob with what I thought was dehydration from a nasty stomach flu, turned in 5 seconds to blood sugars and insulin talk. Jacob has Type 1 diabetes. I learned that today. The first of many things I'll be learning for the next little while. I've been crying for about 8 hours now, off and on. Not because I don't think we can do it. It's just really scary to watch your 10 year old lying there and not be able to do anything for him. Knowing he is hurting. Wondering if I missed the signs. Knowing I've done all I can. Praying. Lots of praying.
My parents came down once we were settled and helped Joe give him a blessing. He'll be okay. We'll be okay.
I'll post more as I know more. Joe is staying at the hospital tonight, and probably every night. I'm home with the other boys. They are worried, but handling it. I told them Jacob is sick and tried to explain what is going on with his body. The hospital has a great program to help the siblings learn and understand what is happening. When I left, Jacob was sleeping as he probably will for a quite a while as his body takes in the fluids and medicine. We are in the waiting game right now.
I keep reminding myself to count my blessings. I have to say things like this really refocus you on what's important. I can't remember the last time I felt so close to my Heavenly Father. I can feel His presence with Jacob and around us. I know He is watching over my boy. I am grateful for that knowledge. We will get through because of that knowledge. It will make us stronger.
When Panic Attacks
5 months ago